I understand..

Before you knew this thing..

i expect that you will think that i am the girl who seduce your beloved to like me..

so that i can get your thing..

after you knew this thing..

you ask me back..

'you think i am this kind of person..?'

i said 'yes'

you know why..?
because love is irrational..

and also your personality..

i can guess so..

you wont be sad..

because you will get sad become angry..

and then..

you will hate us..

well i guess right..

i kidda worry about you..

i have think that

if i can

i will try to comfort you..

try to make you happy back..

just now..

on the way home..

i was thinking that..

what if ..

i break up with him now..?

will you more happy..?

are you worth..?

or he s more worth..?

will everyone happy..?

when he s kidding with me that he maybe will like my friend because i said my friend s very cute..

(whisper: he likes cute thing...any!!@@)

i make it real you know..

i was thinking that if i break up with him..

and make my friend be his gf..

then you will not angry to me anymore..

but..

then you will hate my friend...?

hate again..?

you think im insane..?

seem i get this thing become more complicated..

sis..

you re always my listener..

and tells me best advices..

but where are you now..?

you re still suffering..

and as your sis..

i cant help you either..

im lost..

you lost too right..?

so pressure..

so suffering..

i just hope i can leave..

can fast as possible..

because i cant take it anymore..

i am not treated as a friend in school..

i am treat as a person who have no dignity..

and will get left by them anytime..

i want this thing to stop..

i really hope that..

i have never meet you in this world..

because of love..

you treat me like this..

i m not a toy for you..

i maybe have no right to scold you or anything..

but i am not owe you..

you also do not have right to treat me badly...

love didnt count who s right or wrong..

i guess you wont understand it..

if the thing is yours..

it WILL be yours..

if the thing is not yours..

however way you try you make..

it will NEVER be yours..

if you get him now..

you will happy..?

you really happy..?

okay..

assume that you will happy..

but is he happy..?

you just can get his person but not his heart..

okay..again..

assume that he will happy too..

then that s fine..

i even can give him to you just as a simple present..

right now..!

just give him to you..

i wont be sad..

unless you re happy...

right..?

FIN

Appreciate~

Finally i have finished my group and individual assignment and also test in this week..

but whats the reason i wrote about this this time..?

since this is just a common thing for me already..

but..

i have totally no idea why..!

Im very happy...

maybe because i knew that i will leave this school and my classmate

and the ZZ..@@

suddenly i appreciate anything i going with them..

and i am really really happy..

suddenly i find all my friends are really meant to me..

even this time the assignment need a big cost for printing and etc..

there is nothing to describe anymore besides happy..

and i discover that they seem not treat me so bad as before..

at least they ask me to do something..

so that i can feel that i am one of their member..

and i can help them..

even just a little..

but at least!

i can help them..

they even ask me for opinion!!

omg..!

dont know maybe before they re just emo-ing..?

and also ZZ..

i appreciate when we work together and share the file to help each other for the assignment and homework..

you know..

i LOVE the moment..

but after i leave..

when we will have this kind of great moment..?

this moment will never happen anymore..

i will like to stay if i like this course..

but i really dont..

what im keep hard to doing all these is just because of the result..

im sorry..

maybe its a fate..

well anyway..

i really thankful that you even asking the course for me..

it really meant for me..

that time i m almost cry out..

really..

i knew you want me to stay..

perhaps not..

i dont know..

but you still find the course for me..

and even write a note on your phone..

you are not selfish..

not at all..

yea..

i hate you..

i really hate you..

i hate that you fall in love with me..

hate that you support me and love me at behind always and i know nothing about it until now..

and the most thing i hate is you let me to fall in love with you..!

T^T

i ask that why you want to treat me so good..?

you answer me that because i love you..

and i wanna say is

I love you too..

>///<

ermm..

well..

hahas..

suddenly i dont know what to say..

feel so complicated right now..

never have this feeling before..

maybe this is the feeling of ‘感动’..?

FIN