I understand..

Before you knew this thing..

i expect that you will think that i am the girl who seduce your beloved to like me..

so that i can get your thing..

after you knew this thing..

you ask me back..

'you think i am this kind of person..?'

i said 'yes'

you know why..?
because love is irrational..

and also your personality..

i can guess so..

you wont be sad..

because you will get sad become angry..

and then..

you will hate us..

well i guess right..

i kidda worry about you..

i have think that

if i can

i will try to comfort you..

try to make you happy back..

just now..

on the way home..

i was thinking that..

what if ..

i break up with him now..?

will you more happy..?

are you worth..?

or he s more worth..?

will everyone happy..?

when he s kidding with me that he maybe will like my friend because i said my friend s very cute..

(whisper: he likes cute thing...any!!@@)

i make it real you know..

i was thinking that if i break up with him..

and make my friend be his gf..

then you will not angry to me anymore..

but..

then you will hate my friend...?

hate again..?

you think im insane..?

seem i get this thing become more complicated..

sis..

you re always my listener..

and tells me best advices..

but where are you now..?

you re still suffering..

and as your sis..

i cant help you either..

im lost..

you lost too right..?

so pressure..

so suffering..

i just hope i can leave..

can fast as possible..

because i cant take it anymore..

i am not treated as a friend in school..

i am treat as a person who have no dignity..

and will get left by them anytime..

i want this thing to stop..

i really hope that..

i have never meet you in this world..

because of love..

you treat me like this..

i m not a toy for you..

i maybe have no right to scold you or anything..

but i am not owe you..

you also do not have right to treat me badly...

love didnt count who s right or wrong..

i guess you wont understand it..

if the thing is yours..

it WILL be yours..

if the thing is not yours..

however way you try you make..

it will NEVER be yours..

if you get him now..

you will happy..?

you really happy..?

okay..

assume that you will happy..

but is he happy..?

you just can get his person but not his heart..

okay..again..

assume that he will happy too..

then that s fine..

i even can give him to you just as a simple present..

right now..!

just give him to you..

i wont be sad..

unless you re happy...

right..?

FIN

Appreciate~

Finally i have finished my group and individual assignment and also test in this week..

but whats the reason i wrote about this this time..?

since this is just a common thing for me already..

but..

i have totally no idea why..!

Im very happy...

maybe because i knew that i will leave this school and my classmate

and the ZZ..@@

suddenly i appreciate anything i going with them..

and i am really really happy..

suddenly i find all my friends are really meant to me..

even this time the assignment need a big cost for printing and etc..

there is nothing to describe anymore besides happy..

and i discover that they seem not treat me so bad as before..

at least they ask me to do something..

so that i can feel that i am one of their member..

and i can help them..

even just a little..

but at least!

i can help them..

they even ask me for opinion!!

omg..!

dont know maybe before they re just emo-ing..?

and also ZZ..

i appreciate when we work together and share the file to help each other for the assignment and homework..

you know..

i LOVE the moment..

but after i leave..

when we will have this kind of great moment..?

this moment will never happen anymore..

i will like to stay if i like this course..

but i really dont..

what im keep hard to doing all these is just because of the result..

im sorry..

maybe its a fate..

well anyway..

i really thankful that you even asking the course for me..

it really meant for me..

that time i m almost cry out..

really..

i knew you want me to stay..

perhaps not..

i dont know..

but you still find the course for me..

and even write a note on your phone..

you are not selfish..

not at all..

yea..

i hate you..

i really hate you..

i hate that you fall in love with me..

hate that you support me and love me at behind always and i know nothing about it until now..

and the most thing i hate is you let me to fall in love with you..!

T^T

i ask that why you want to treat me so good..?

you answer me that because i love you..

and i wanna say is

I love you too..

>///<

ermm..

well..

hahas..

suddenly i dont know what to say..

feel so complicated right now..

never have this feeling before..

maybe this is the feeling of ‘感动’..?

FIN

Disturbia~!!!!!!!

I cant stand it anymore..!

why you still want to disturb me..?!

you make me hate you so much!

i even dont wish to see you again!!

anymore..!!

forever!!!

cant you stop calling me everyday..?!!

one day 30 calls..!!!

are you insane..?!!

you call until my phone no batteries

and i almost want to smash my phone away..!!!

you knew that i block your phone call already..

and you still go find your friends to borrow their phone to call me..?!!!

what.. to force me to answer..!!

and different numbers i have to block all of them..?!!

you are crazy!!!!

and the worst is..

you even disturbing my friends..!!!

what ve they done to meet you this horrible guy!!!

i am sooo regret that i didnt listen to sis s advice..!!

how regret i am..!!!

because i treat you as my primary friend..

and you treat me like that..!

all girls just ignore whatever your call or sms or facebook..

except me..

how stupiak i am to treat you as my friend..

and you force me to do things and give up my everything because of this 'friend' word..!!

how horrible are you..!

you said you likes me..!!!

and you love me..!

NO!!

its not love!!

you didnt even know how to appreciate people give!

how you understand what is love!

you can see thats love through my previous post!!!

you just want a girl to accompany you..

because everyday of your life is boring..!!!

but my life is always busy!!!

and im not like you..and i wont accept..!

and now you are keep disturbing me..!!!

you know what..?

i really HATE you..!

you ruin my mood everyday..!!!

i never hate anyone like this..

until i know you !!!

ENOUGH!!!

GO AWAY!!!

GET LOST FROM MY WORLD!!!

i dont want to see you anymore!!!!

BECAUSE I HATE YOU!!

sorry for any rude words..(to blog not for relevant people)

just want to share out my anger and hatred..

feel better..

hoping he dont come to disturb me anymore..

i really cant stand it anymore..

i almost cry out..

FIN

Fall in love..? @@

i fall in love with him..?

i dont know..

but suddenly i seem so care about him..

after knew that he likes me for a long time..

i seem start to notice him recently..

and figure it myself..

he really do care about me when we re talking or sms or any action he do for me..

he s such an unpredictable person..

how hard i found that he likes me you know..?!!

walao leh~~==ll

or maybe i am stupiak..?

issshh~!

but well..

actually he s really a nice guy..

i really can put a hundred of my hearts into him if im his gf..

he s very kind..and honest guy..

how to say..?

ermm..

诚心兼老实。。

hahas..

i never met a guy like that..

i ve wondering..

'she' will be very blessed if 'she' has a bf such like this..

if the 'she' was me,

how happy i have such a nice bf who almost extinct in this world!

im not to exaggerate my words..

but its true..

he really is..

but i have never expect that he likes me..

and its already a few months ago..!

Last time..

i saw XX took a small knife and put it on ZZ s hand..

try to scare him..? or something..?

but he didnt feel scare at all..@@

maybe he think XX wont hurt him..

but i am the one who scare..!

i automatically rise up my hand to touch XX s hand..

try to stop him to do that..

because it may hurt ZZ..

and suddenly my mind asked me:

'what am i doing..?'

then i only quickly say an excuse that its dangerous for playing this..

i know its a weird excuse..

and so XX..

but what i can say..

i really dont know how to tell a lie in such a emergency situation..!

and before that..

KK ask me to play games with him..

but i rejected..

then suddenly KK did something that make ZZ have a big reaction..

that time i was stared at KK..

seemed try to stop KK to do that with my eyes contact aggressively..

and KK made a 'yam yam' smiling face..

i guess he knew something...?

omg..!!!

what have i done..?!!

what happen...?!!!

issshhh!!!

what am i doing..?!

i really..fall in love with him..?

somebody answer me..?!

har har~~~

aiyaiyai~

what should i do..?!!!

speechless...~.~

i think i do fall in love...@@!!!!!

...........isshhh!!

FIN

20 November 2010~ gurney~pasar malam~starlight~

went to hui ming s house before going to gurney~

i have no idea why she want to cover this..@@

hahas..

wow..ugly..

tar dar~

i straighten my hair back..

tit tit i miss you..

you make me feel my hair getting longer..

==ll

okay stop it..

and here s hui ming..

busy doing makeup..

After eating 'chopper board'~

^^V

After on,

hui ming s bf,ah hooi came to fetch me to go to pasar malam where near to grandma s house..

But sis called me when reach there no longer..

to ask me go out night...

hehehe~

of course i do..

since that day s friday!~

lala.

didnt take any pic st starlight..

lazzzzzzyy...~

anyway just having fun at there..

and know another three guys at there..

weird..@@

FIN

To all people who think study s the best in the world..

If you think like that,

then you re really an ignorant person..

People who did not study well or educated..

they are useless..

If you think like that,

mostly the whole world are beggars..

and i will say you will be the poorest beggar among them..

you think..?

If everyone try their best to do everything even they didnt educate..

they will succeed..

or even more than you even you study so well..

future cant hold by everyone..

you maybe just a sale girl or waiter even you ve graduated from college or uni..

people who never study college or uni maybe will become a billionaire..

读书不是大嗮的。。

你以为读书就是全世界啊。。？

唔好酱天真啦。。

会笑死人大牙的啊。。

FIN

I m really mad..but i have to pretend..

Sometimes i ask myself..

why i have to force myself not to angry to you all..?

because i know you are too straight ..

until even you also dont know the most basic respect and manners..

and i keep not to say anything..

not to make you do correction to your attitude..

am i doing right..?

or maybe because i know your stubborn..?

and arguement will happen..?

you seem become more serious in your personality..

I have heard another friend told me something..

actually you all no need to hide to me..

im okay with that..

i ALWAYS okay with anything..

just want you all dont hide things from me or lie to me..

because i hate it..

im not no temper at all..

at least i have feeling..

dont you all respect and stop to ignore my feeling..?

why you all want to treat me like this..?

what have i done anything wrong to you all..?

i know i will leave one day..

so i force myself not to angry or even argue with you all..

thus i just write at here..

whatever you saw it or not..

i dont care..

i got my right..

to realise my anger and pressure in my blog..

and you dont have to ask me anything..

or do anything..

i wont say anything..

you know and understand what you doing better if compare to ask me any shit questions..

i always try not to believe..

when people told me that..

once you know your friends at sem 1..

and mostly you will break group with them at sem 2..

because all your friends pattern and real personality come out...

i really not believe it..

but now..

i do..

(sign)

im really mad..

but nevermind..

i will leave..

and i wont see you all again..

i hope too..

FIN

29 October 2010~ G hotel~ JAMIE DAVIS concert~

I saw his performance in television before..

but i ve never expect that i can see his real person...

tar dar~

thats my dress for tonight~

nice...?

@@

Reach G hotel~

Ball room~

Since mummy s strongly disagree that im wear too...

over...?

So i wear 'tubebra' to cover it..

the whole matching~

here s jaslin...

it end at 10.30pm

so now..

im home...

^^

FIN

Im sorry..

Im sorry that i cant help you anything..

how a stupiak help a scholarship holder to do assignment..?

anyone believe it..?

im not suan-ing really..

im just..

im really cant help it and i ve no confident when i stand in front of you all..

i feel lucky of knowing you two and be friend with you two..

but i feel sad because of our levels s too far..

Sorry..

FIN

17 October 2010~ Present~

Thank you ah sam!!!

Thank you Didi!!!

and also didi's bro...!!!

thank you very much~!!

you two came to my house purposely just to give me a birthday present..

有心了。。(in cantonese)

xie xie..

and love you two~~
^^

didi s bro..

didi~

what a 'mature' present..

XD

FIN

22 October 2010~R.A.N.D.O.M~

After finding for sooooo long,

i have found it...

yeah~

i know i know...

its ugly..

so please ignore my scary face..

just want to show my curly hair..

and my hair get shorter..

a bit xim tia...

Just now i told daddy..

me: baba baba...see..

kiu kiu...

daddy: ei..? why tit tit become kiu kiu eh..?

me: ho liao leh...

daddy: then your real hair kiu kiu or your wigs kiu kiu..?

me: both also kiu...

daddy: wah...ho liao ho liao ho liao...

me: ==llll

anyway..

just want to show off...XDD(actually its nothing to show off to)

tata..

FIN

13 October 2010~ paradise beach~ picnic~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO me and Alex~

went to beach with bro,yuki,oliver,alex,tian wen and his gf...

did anyone see two ghosts here..?

tian wen: have a nightmare after seeing this..

>.<

yuki s creation~

here s yuki

Oliver bought me a cake after bro went to buy things with him...

thank you...^~^

its nice~

make a wish make a wish~

bro s creation for yuki~

nice one..

but its hard to do this..

hiuh~~(sweating~)

Alex,tian wen and his gf left no longer..

ma zai wu gang wor~

=(

but they missed the great hours~

and we tried to cover all the sand on bro~

but he still can get off easily without anyone else s help..

and me..

i even lost my anklets..

but found it by yuki afterwards..

hoho~

luckily..

we are so happy because finally we re taller than him...

XD

oliver: next time dare you see people with your eyes roll down or not..?!

say sorry!!!

bro: sorry!!!!!

hahahahahaha~!!

good~

we went home at 11 something after playing ~

its a great memory~

thanks for alex and tian wen s present..

but i think they still treat me as a child..

just like what they did in primary school..

XD

hahas...

bear bear and pencil case..

but thanks anyway~

心意就好~^^

FIN